Know you're in a healthy relationship - Everyone talks about being a good, healthy relationship. But what exactly does 'healthy' signify. Put simply, you are in a healthy relationship when you feel good about yourself when around your loved one and there is an equal amount of give and take between both the partners. Most important is the trust factor, you should feel safe around the other person and trust him/her with your secrets. Remember, healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to both, themselves and each other.
Here are some important factors for a healthy relationship:
(Being happy as individuals…)
Kindness
Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.
Spontaneous warmth and affection
This is an important factor. Affection and warmth toward each other help a couple to appreciate the essence of each other, rather than just pinpoint the faults. Consequently, it also helps strengthen the relationship as they are able to enjoy each other, both as individuals, and as a couple.
Laughter and fun
It's vital to the well being of your relationship that both of you laugh and play together. Learn to appreciate and enjoy each other's sense of humour, especially in the midst of difficulties. Both of you need to let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together, as laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.
Enjoying time together and time apart
You may both be each other's favourite person to spend time with. However, it is also essential that you grow as individuals and spend quality time with yourself, indulging in your hobbies and passions.
Individual friends and interests
Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, especially emotionally.
Resolving conflicts
All relationships experience conflicts in some form or the other. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. As a couple, you need to have a method for resolving conflict or else you will end up just sweeping aside. Also, if fighting is a part of how you deal with conflict, learn to fight fair, do not be hurtful or insulting.
Letting go of anger
If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.
Trust in your love
You need to trust each other that the love is solid, even in very difficult times. You need to know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other and that your love will still be there. This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.
Listening, understanding, accepting and learning
Even though you are a couple, each of you need to feel heard, understood and accepted. Share your secrets with your partner without the fear of being judged. Be interested in learning about yourselves and each other than in controlling each other. Listen to each other with an open heart and make the effort to understand your partner before judging each other or defending your actions.
Sexuality
Your sexual relationship needs to be warm and caring. Be sexually spontaneous and more importantly, talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you.
Freedom to be yourself
Just because you are a couple, it doesn't mean you have to be a mirror image of each other. Remember, you are individuals with your own personal choices and tastes. To be in a healthy relationship, you need to have the freedom to be yourself without the fear of being criticised. Learn to support each other in pursuing what brings you'll joy. After all, happy individuals make happy couples. ( timesofindia.indiatimes.com )
Here are some important factors for a healthy relationship:
(Being happy as individuals…)
Kindness
Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.
Spontaneous warmth and affection
This is an important factor. Affection and warmth toward each other help a couple to appreciate the essence of each other, rather than just pinpoint the faults. Consequently, it also helps strengthen the relationship as they are able to enjoy each other, both as individuals, and as a couple.
Laughter and fun
It's vital to the well being of your relationship that both of you laugh and play together. Learn to appreciate and enjoy each other's sense of humour, especially in the midst of difficulties. Both of you need to let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together, as laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.
Enjoying time together and time apart
You may both be each other's favourite person to spend time with. However, it is also essential that you grow as individuals and spend quality time with yourself, indulging in your hobbies and passions.
Individual friends and interests
Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, especially emotionally.
Resolving conflicts
All relationships experience conflicts in some form or the other. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. As a couple, you need to have a method for resolving conflict or else you will end up just sweeping aside. Also, if fighting is a part of how you deal with conflict, learn to fight fair, do not be hurtful or insulting.
Letting go of anger
If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.
Trust in your love
You need to trust each other that the love is solid, even in very difficult times. You need to know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other and that your love will still be there. This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.
Listening, understanding, accepting and learning
Even though you are a couple, each of you need to feel heard, understood and accepted. Share your secrets with your partner without the fear of being judged. Be interested in learning about yourselves and each other than in controlling each other. Listen to each other with an open heart and make the effort to understand your partner before judging each other or defending your actions.
Sexuality
Your sexual relationship needs to be warm and caring. Be sexually spontaneous and more importantly, talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you.
Freedom to be yourself
Just because you are a couple, it doesn't mean you have to be a mirror image of each other. Remember, you are individuals with your own personal choices and tastes. To be in a healthy relationship, you need to have the freedom to be yourself without the fear of being criticised. Learn to support each other in pursuing what brings you'll joy. After all, happy individuals make happy couples. ( timesofindia.indiatimes.com )
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